Everyone, I have a serious confession to make...
I actually kind of hate writing.
Yeah I've been procrastinating to produce another blog post, mainly because I've devoted my energy to other projects that require more of my right brain and writing was never my strong point. But yes, I manage to publish some book(s). That tells you any breathing living soul can do it too lol
At the beginning of January, I moved into a new apartment and switched to a hard-core hermit mode. I completely lack motivations to go out because my new apartment is incredibly awesome compared to my last one.
Letting my introvert side completely rule over, I've been just ordering things from Tesco and made myself a professional hermit. And I have no shame admitting it.
Occasionally I'd hang out with some close friends.
Hermit mode: full on.
I was very happy to get my creativity back after being so burnt out as a fashion designer back in the States. I was working on a project earlier for a client and my work made her very happy.
Creativity has always been my outlet and my way to live in this world but I had to go through several experiences to made me learn things I didn't understand. And that reflects back into my work.
Why am I doing this? Who am I creating for? How do I feel about this?
It's a great feeling to put my idea(s) into reality, and it's great to know my creativity can make other people happy.
Have you found your message? Do you know how to express yourself in this world?
If you haven't found that thing you are good at and can make people happy, please don't give up and keep searching.
We All Need Time to Reflect
Many of us living in this world do things without self-awareness of why we do the things we do, have the reactions we have, and the reasons why we make certain choices.
I was very much a walking zombie back then. I don't feel much and was very numb. It wasn't until the reality pain jolted me to change and travel pushed me even more.
I learned so much about myself for the past 3 months living here in Chiang Mai I went through multiple psychologies of transition cycle.
It was very much like the 5 Stages of Grief & Loss, and I went through it like, 5x faster processing multiple things. My mind was busy for sure for the past few months.
Things I've learned are mostly in the area of self-development, understanding myself, and how do I feel about things.
It's big because we never talk about feelings in my family. And it turns out there are so many people out there that have a similar experience from their family, or maybe even worse.
Many of us are living in pain, or numb from pain. But no one dares to talk about it because it shows weakness and vulnerability. And yes, there are plenty of mean people in the world who can't manage their own pain so they had to poke at other people's pain.
As for me, I'm still learning. I'm still peeling my onion.
But I know that the more I know myself, the more I can get clear on what I want and the likely I can manifest it into reality.
Live True to Yourself
I hope you are giving yourself time to process things from the past. Once you know why you act the way you do, things will make so much sense.
The process is gonna sting and it's gonna be unpleasant.
So why do I keep ripping the band-aid off the wounds and encourage people to dug deep and talk about the stuff deep inside and emotions and stuff?
Well, as Gary Vaynerchuk put it, "The biggest poison in us, is regret."
I've heard enough people complain how they wish they divorce, they wish they quite their job, they wish they pursue their dreams, they wish they wish...
One thing I know for sure is that the longer you wait, the more it'll hurt.
And another thing I know for sure is that once you process the information and experience, you can move on and be happier.
Another personal epiphany is that I know if I disconnect with myself and don't know my emotions, I'm likely to put up with nonsense and not knowing I actually dislike it.
The more we hide that pain or neglect the emotions within us, the more we are disconnected to ourselves and to the world of possibilities. Before you know it, the feeling of regret is gonna hurt like a bitch each day each year each moment you postpone whatever it is you want to do.
Don't do that to yourself.
After I read the book, I realise how closed-minded I am in some areas. After I acknowledge that, I actively shift my mindset to welcome new perspective.
You just gotta know where you stand to move forward.
Now, go get that book, read it, think about it, and do something to make yourself go forward.
Are you living true to yourself? Be careful what you ask for, it's gonna come true.